Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."


 

Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.



Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: That's electric's job


Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: It's not a bulb, it's a globe.


Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one... but how do you get him in there with the cute, blonde?


Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one more, guys, I promise.


Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one, if he's got a good crew to do it.


Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?


Q: How many Superstar Actor's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One: They just hold it and the whole world revolves around them.


Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...


Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.


Q: How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.


Q: How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.


Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: "Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"


Q: How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.


Q: How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: What's a light bulb?


Q: How many over eager PA's does it take to screw in a li...

A: Done!


(Note: When telling this out loud to someone the joke is to wait for them to start asking "How ma...?" then cut 'em off with "Done!"

Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.


Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.


Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.



Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.


Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.



Q: How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: The bulbs IN and it's staying IN!



Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: WHAT?


Q: How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Why the f--k are you asking me that question? Can't you see I'm busy!


Q: How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Uh...standby, I'll check on that.


Q: How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all


these damn light bulbs!"

Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?


A: One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: November.

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