Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend to death. Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

 The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah (in bible) was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

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