Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves...

What did the mummy say to the detective?
Let's wrap this case up...

Why did the vampires cancel their baseball game?
They couldn't find their bats...

Why did the Cyclops have to close his school?
He only had one pupil...

Where There Is No Imagination
There Is No Horror.

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

If the house you're living in tells you to "GO AWAY", do so immediately.

Never get into a car without first checking the back seat for occupants.

As a general rule, don't try to solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

Do not accept/take anything from the dead.

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